Parenting A Teenager - What Is So Different?   by Janet Hart

If you are parenting your very first teenager, you may still be trying to figure out why there is so much fuss.

Why should your parenthood change just because your child has entered another decade of her life?

If you stop to consider it, there are some fundamental differences in your teenage child when you compare them to a five year old, or a ten year old.

Let's consider just a few of the differences:

The couple in my office are remarried. Their problem, they both agree, is his former wife who is making their lives miserable, ruining the children, threatening them with financial disaster, or suffering from a serious mental health problem. This is a common dilemma for remarried couples who seek my assistance. Rarely is the "other parent" willing to meet with me or to enter therapy. Often I am limited to the information given to me by the two members of the new couple, and I am sure that their allegations are biased.

Important among the wide variety of stepfamilies are the families formed by the same sex partners with children from a previous marriage or a previous relationship. Gay and lesbian stepfamilies bring to their system both the usual stepfamily issues and the additional challenges faced by homosexual individuals, partners, and parents in a heterosexual, homophobic society. These sources of stress often interact resulting in problems with communication leading to difficulties with roles, identities, and co-parenting alliances.