I mainly mean this question for those that have children with their current partner, but I'd be interested to hear all responses. A comment in another thread piqued my interest, as someone said that your first priority in a family should be to each other, even if you have children together.

Rather than take that thread off topic I thought I'd open a discussion about it here. In my case, well after we were committed, DH told me that his children would be his number one priority, and that I'd be important, but never as important as them. I was heartbroken, but eventually picked myself up.

However, from that moment on I swore that, if I wasn't DH's first priority, he wouldn't be mine. I put myself first from then on, disengaged, left the SF rubbish behind me. When Boof was born, I transferred my priorities across to him. He comes first, I come second, DH comes third (not last, third).

This new bub will slot into first place as well. I think DH has finally realised that I'm not fawning and moping over him, and our priorities are different now. Our relationship is not entirely fantastic sometimes, and maybe this is why? But I'll be damned if I place a man at a higher place in my life then he places me in his life.

What's your view? Does your partner come first, because a happy couple makes a happy family? Do you have a schism in your family like I do; them vs us? Or have you found a magic way to make it work perfectly? If so, please share!

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