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Dads
in stepfamilies
Being
a stepfather can be difficult, especially if the children are older when
you join the family. You may also have your own children who will still
want your time. Children who have had time alone with their mother often
feel sad or cross about having someone else take some of her time. Some
children do not want anyone else to replace their own dad's place in
the family.
What
you can do
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Be prepared to spend your time getting to know your partner's
children.
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Give the children time. You cannot take their dad's place, but you can
still build a close relationship with them.
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Be a friend but don't crowd them.
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Plan household rules together with your partner and include the children.
The rules you decide on may be very different from what the children
are used to.
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Be wary about disciplining the children even if their mother asks you to.
It is usually better if parents discipline their own children,
especially at first.
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Talk with your partner about problems and work out together how you will
deal with them.
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Let the children still have some time on their own with their mother
without you around.
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Offer to do some things with the children yourself. Choose things they
enjoy.
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Make sure that you have some special time with your own children, too. It
can be tricky making a place in your life for everyone, but it is
important to them that you are involved in their lives.
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Support your stepchildren in keeping contact with their dad if this is
what they want.
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Children in stepfamilies often come and go between houses. You need to be
flexible to allow for this and be understanding of their feelings as
well as the behaviours that they might show before and after visits.
Source: ParentLink
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