| The Top 10 Tips for Being a Supportive Stepmother |
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1. Do not ask or demand to be called Mom. Allow your stepchildren to call you by your name instead of trying to apply a title to yourself. 2. Dont try to take the place of the biological mother. Be your stepchilds friend and dont try to fill space that rightly belongs to another. You are a stepmother and your bond will be different than the bond between the mother and her biological child. Different-not worse. 3. Listen Since you may be seen as the objective third party, theres a good chance your stepchild will feel more comfortable telling you stories about his day than sharing it with his parents. Be sure to encourage him to speak with his parents about his feelings also. 4. Reassure your stepchildren through action that you are not trying to steal their father from them. Sometimes children worry they'll lose love and attention if their father remarries after the divorce. Honor time between your spouse and his children without you as a bonding period. Your stepchild may feel less threatened by you if he still has occassional uninterrupted, quality time with his dad. 5. Be consistent with the discipline methods of the biological parents. Do not try to appear as the savior to your stepchildren so that you undermine the wishes of the biological parents. This will only create stress and communication problems between everyone involved. 6. Set guidelines with your new spouse for the behavior of the children in your home. Setting boundaries is necessary for children of all ages. They need them, want them, and grow by them. 7. Reward their successes. Recognize the natural abilities of the children and promote them. 8. Take up a hobby with your stepchildren. Spending hours talking and playing can grow the roots of a trusting relationship. 9. Never speak negatively about the other parent. Create an open relationship built on cooperation your stepchild will view as a positive example. 10. Cherish the relationship. About the Submitter This piece was originally submitted by Melissa E Miller, MTEL, Coach U Student, Professional Coach, who can be reached at This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it , or visited on the web. Melissa E Miller wants you to know: My wish to concentrate on working with individuals who desire to attain what they consider the impossible is what guided me in founding Accessing Possibilities. Accessing Possibilities is about taking hold of the extraordinary opportunities that are before us and making the possibilities become realities. If you would like to experience the adventure of coaching, call me for a complimentary 30-minute session. Accessing Possibilities (720) 949-1467. Copyright 97, 98, 99, 00, 2001 CoachVille This content may be forwarded in full, with copyright, contact, and creation information intact, without specific permission, when used only in a not-for-profit context. For other uses, permission in writing from CoachVille is required. Questions: email This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it Source: The Top 10 Tips for Being a Supportive Stepmother http://topten.org/public/BQ/BQ99.html |
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