STEPFAMILY ASSOCIATION

Don't try to force things into a particular mold. Lots of people live in families in which they don't necessarily 'love' each other, but they make it work."

This doesn't mean your stepchildren won't eventually grow to love you, or that your children won't learn to love your new spouse. But remember that a stepfamily is composed of two different families from separate backgrounds. "A frequent problem is when people want the stepfamily to blend straight away," observes Dr. Marshall. "You have to respect the old family, because the relationships between the natural parent and his or her children are very close. They need time to be the old family as well as the new."

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