STEPFAMILY ASSOCIATION

Holidays such as Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, or Christmas may be challenging for blended families. Unresolved feelings, animosity, and mixed loyalties can sidetrack what should be a happy time. However, with forethought and creativity, your blended family can enjoy pleasant and enriching holiday celebrations. In a blended family, at least one adult has a child or children from a former relationship. These children regularly visit or live with the couple.

Be Flexible. Who says your family has to celebrate a given holiday on its official date? Who says all members of your blended family need to be together on a particular holiday? If you adopt a flexible mindset, you'll discover many satisfactory ways to celebrate holidays.

Encourage Expression of Feelings. Let youngsters, grandparents, and others share their feelings. Listen sensitively without interrupting or trying to fix problems they share with you. You may not agree with everything a person says (and you certainly will not be able to accommodate everyone's preferences), but family members will appreciate your listening to them and taking their needs into account.

Plan Ahead. Discuss options and plan in advance of a given holiday. Encourage family members to share their ideas, as it helps that everyone voices their opinions and avoids unrealistic expectations.