Stepfamily Association

Five Tips for Surviving the Blended Family Holiday
by dmiller
 
If you live in a stepfamily, then you know that navigating the holidays when you live in a blender poses special challenges. But it doesn't have to be horrible. Here are five tips you can apply to make your holiday season merrier.

(1) Don't resent the custody situation deal with it. It can be tough to establish new traditions and reconnect with old ones when you share split custody over the holidays, which is common in stepfamilies. Last year my husband's ex-wife had the kids for Christmas and they went out of town to visit her family. My husband and I spent our first Christmas as a married couple with my family in another city minus his three children. It was sad to be without the kids, but our trip helped him understand the traditions that I value.

(2) Form realistic expectations. Talk with the kids and your spouse about what should happen. All of the holiday bustle, can make engineering "the perfect holiday" appear seductively easy. Unfortunately forcing your stepfamily to conform to a Norman Rockwell painting is more likely to create resentment then rejoicing. So go easy on everyone and yourself by forming realistic expectations. Because it's "our year" to have the kids wake up at our home on the big day, we've been talking with the kids about Christmas morning. It's been an exciting time to share what we all value.