| Family Wedding Service Creates Bond |
|
|
Page 1 of 2 Family Wedding Service Creates Bond Between Parent, Stepparents and Children A wedding that emphasizes the family nature of remarriage -- and formally recognizes the children either spouse brings to the marriage -- can go a long way toward jump starting a new step-family. (ARA) - You've found the man of your dreams and you've set the date. There is, however, one nagging dilemma: the children (both yours and his). How can the traditional wedding, which focuses exclusively on the bride and groom, be reconfigured to recognize the critical role that children play in the remarriage relationship? That question plagued mother and bride-to-be Laura Clemmer, who spent months scouring wedding magazines. "My fiancé Paul (Kotz) and I wanted to do something concrete during our wedding to show my children -- 2-year-old Allison and 5-year-old Nathan -- that we were creating a new family," she says. Laura and Paul were discouraged when the initial search for a family-oriented wedding ceremony proved fruitless. They were concerned that Nathan, who had early on been enthusiastic about his mom's marriage plans, began expressing some doubts. "Will you and Paul get divorced?" asked the preschooler, who still remembered the pain of his parents' divorce several years earlier. The Greensboro, N.C., couple was grappling with a problem experienced by most of the more than 1 million single parents who remarry in the United States each year: What can be done to ease the concerns of children who feel, on a conscious or unconscious level, that their secure place in the family is threatened by the pending marriage of a parent? After much research, Laura found a simple and emotionally satisfying answer in the form of a family-oriented wedding service that gives children a meaningful role. This 5-minute ceremony -- called the Family Medallion service -- can be integrated into any religious or civil wedding ceremony. It differs from the traditional wedding in only one respect: After the newlyweds exchange rings, their children join them for a special service focusing on the family nature of remarriage. Each child is given a gold or silver medal (Family Medallion) with three interlocking circles, a symbol that represents family love in much the same way the wedding ring signifies conjugal love. (The medallion is available in the form of a pendant, ring or lapel pin.) The Kotzes say they will never forget the moment during their wedding when Nathan and Allison were summoned to their sides to participate in the family wedding service. While the minister recited the words of the ceremony -- a pledge to love and care for all the children either spouse brings to the marriage -- Laura and Paul presented Nathan and Allison with Family Medallions. Then the hugging started. "I don't mean to be trite, but it was really a bonding experience," recalls step-dad Paul. "I especially wanted Nathan, who was old enough to understand what was going on, to know that I wasn't just marrying Laura; I was making a commitment to be there for him and his sister. I could see from the way his eyes lit up that he understood. I will never forget it." |
||||
| < Prev | Next > |
|---|
Syndicate
Copyright © 2005 - 2012 Stepfamily Association of South Australia.
Template Joomla designed by JoomlArt.com
