The Blended Family - Three Principles on Building A Co-Parenting Attitude In The Blended Family   by Bonnie Holscher

In the blended family the two parents, whether they be step or biological, need to determine what they as a couple are trying to accomplish as a family. The parents need a clear determination of discipline and boundary setting so that the children learn to develop a lifestyle that will benefit them in their growing years. To do that, the parents need to jointly set up a parental attitude that both will follow and become a united front. A sense of reliability is established when both parents believe in the rules and follow through with agreed upon consequences.

The first principle that both parents need be a good example of unity. These parents must be willing to uphold the discipline plan of action that they both agreed upon. It is imperative that the co parents maintain a loyalty between themselves first. Remember that every time that you do not uphold the agreement that you entered into, you prove yourself to be unreliable and not trustworthy. You break down the trust of your partner and weaken the very foundation that the two of you are trying to build upon. This is a valuable lesson that children need to learn to be successful in their own lives.

Being consistent is the second principle that is just as important for building a family that is blended. Being wishy washy teaches the children involved to be the same way. Exercising leniency when you do not feel like disciplining is the sign of an unresponsible parent. Teach the child respect by not butting in even if you do not agree with how one or the other parent is disciplining any of the children, The time and place to discuss this situation is in a private place away from the children as to teach them uphold respect as well.

The third and equally important principle in building a well rounded blended family is to make sure that your children feel that they belong. This is going to involve clear communication. Always treat the children with the same respect that you expect. Understand that blending two separate households is going to take some time and feelings will be hurt. Sit down and talk through the difficult times and allow in an orderly manner for the child who may be having difficulty to express their feelings. Once you learn what the difficulty may be stemming from you can then address each individual situation with more options to make changes that will benefit all involved. It is amazing what the simple statement "Help me to understand your action and how you feel" can do to open a line of effective communication. When a child feels that you care, they are more likely to open up and communicate with you. Your blending mountains and valleys will soon become less of a challenge and more of a journey.

No one said it would be easy. But it will be worth it. Blending a family comes in steps. It can be difficult to accept the differences that will invade a household in the beginning. But with a little bit of acceptance that individuals are coming together to make a household the mission can be accomplished. for more information on joining the family in harmony feel free to visit http://www.dadmomandkids.com

You can also access resources for relational tips and suggestions at http://www.friendsandbeyond.com

About the Author

Bonnie Holscher is an Internet Entrepeuner, Writer and Motivational Coach. She is the creator of the 365 Days of Successes Journal which is available at http://www.365daysofsuccessesjournal.com

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