Eliminating Ex-Spouse Conflict   by Matt Doyle

I don't care how good your relationship is with your ex-spouse, with few exceptions, there are going to be periods of time when you just don't see eye to eye. And you know what? That's a normal part of the process, and if you agreed on everything, you probably wouldn't have split up in the first place. But, that's a topic for another time.

If your ex-spouse keeps throwing up roadblocks to your recovery or the recovery of your children, you're probably about to lose your mind. Believe it or not, more often than not, the roadblocks are either unintentional or unconscious if not both.

I know this will be hard to believe, but an overwhelming majority of the divorced parents I've worked with truly want what's best for the kids. Unfortunately, a lot of behavior suggests otherwise. But, let me remind you that divorce is packed with overwhelming emotion, high stress, and periods of utter chaos. And keep in mind that some people just do not get it when it comes to healthy interaction. Not only that, some people simply cannot control their anger. Combine that with little skill in the communication department and you have a good chance for conflict.

Divorcees are constantly trying to figure out the motives of the other party. But, too often there is no dialogue about why certain things are being said or done. When there is discussion about these things, the conversation often falls apart and escalates into an emotional fire storm. This can be particularly true in the early days. Frankly, it can get down right depressing.