Becoming Family: How to Build a Stepfamily That Really Works - Stepfamily Association of South Australia

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Becoming Family: How to Build a Stepfamily That Really Works

Book Description
A practical guide for meeting the challenges of stepfamily life.

More than one in five families with two parents is a stepfamily, and eight million children live in stepfamilies. The stepfamily is both a wonderful blessing and a challenge.

Drawing on their own experiences, and that of the stepfamilies with whom they have worked. Robert and Jeanette Lauer give realistic, helpful advice on how to deal with the major challenges in stepfamily life: Loss, adjustment, personal identity, family identity, loyalty conflicts, former spouses, resources, stepparenting, and marital intimacy. The authors encourage the formation of stepparent support groups, and an appendix includes activities and suggestions for small-group discussion.

Customer Reviews:

5 out of 5 stars

Love this book! November 16, 2001
5 out of 5 found this review helpful

Written from a Christian perspective, this book is extremely well organized and packed with concrete real-life guidance. The chapters stress the importance of seeing each family member's point of view and gives practical, easy-to-understand advice that focuses on strengthening the marriage and new family bonds. The book doesn't mask the challenges a stepfamily faces, but instead, tempers them with hope. You'll see how several stepfamilies used faith and Biblical teachings to carry on and succeed.

Taking the approach of the reader's stepfamily as "God's calling to a new life," the authors help the reader understand her identity and help it grow in light of new challenges and circumstances. The book also focuses on understanding "human limitations:" you can't please all of the people all of the time. Acknowledging that fact helps couples work through their problems with new insight.

The book offers good advice and guidance in helping all family members deal with loyalty conflicts and in managing limited resources. In "The Ex-Factor," you'll find tips on dealing with the challenges of a former spouse. The difficulties and experiences expressed by the stepparents ring true.

Finally, the book discusses the rewards of stepfamily life, giving us a few "happy ending" stories for inspiration. And you'll find suggestions for group discussions (divided by chapter), but the suggestions would also be valuable if used just within your family. I think you'll like this book.

4 out of 5 stars A must for anyone in a stepfamily. August 17, 1999
18 out of 20 found this review helpful

You will find yourself spoken to and about, throughout this book. Are you in denial? I didn't know I was until reading this book. It is truly difficult being in a stepfamily, but this book helps you to cope with issues you don't want to address.