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Keeping in touch with your children Print E-mail

If you are separated from your children's mother being a father may be hard, but there are some very important things that you can do for your children. Here are some suggestions from the Parenting SA Parent Easy Guide, 'Being a Dad.'

* Keep in touch with your children even if it is painful to have to keep saying goodbye after you see them. Your children need your love and care even though goodbyes are hard.

* Sometimes it might seem as if it would be easier for the children if you did not see them. If you are a caring father it will be good for them to see you even if the comings and goings are difficult.

* When the children are with you let them share your life. Let them see that men can cook their food (it doesn't have to be fancy) and take care of them. they will learn a lot about being a father this way.

* Make the effort to learn to do things with your children.

* Children will get more out of just being with you than expensive presents and always going on exciting outings (although they may ask.)

* Be reliable about pickups and drop offs and sending back clothes Use give and take when it comes to making arrangements.

* Try not to send messages with the children or keep asking them questions about their mother.

* Keep in touch - often. Phone and write and remember birthdays and special occasions. Contact them when there a important school events such as exams, or going for a job.

* Parents have the right to separate from their partner but they still have the responsibility to be a parent. Children have the right to be cared for by both parents, even if you are not together.

More suggestions are offered in the Parent Easy Guide.

 
Family Souvenirs Print E-mail

The following article was sent to me by DH in Townsville. You may like to share something with the other stepparents on the mailing list.

Whilst browsing in the local op shop recently, the words "relationship souvenirs" caught my eye in a book about second-time relationships. It has taken me a few weeks of thinking about it, and how to use this concept in our blended family.


 
Divorced Spouses Remain Co-parents Print E-mail
Source: Sandy Bailey, Montana State University Extension Family and Human Development Specialist &
Montana Mediation Association
1/23/02

After divorce, children are members of two families and former spouses need to cooperate to make both homes supportive and secure for their children. Co-parenting skills are especially important, said Sandy Bailey, Montana State University Extension family and human development specialist.
 
Stepmom Growing Pains Print E-mail
The first time I met my stepdaughter she was ten years old with the chubby cheeks of an adorable cherub. On one of our first outings we went to the National Zoo where we took pictures of pandas and watched beavers build a dam.
 
Cutting: The New Teen Anorexia Print E-mail
Bizarre. Worry. Pain. Shame. They're just a few of the words that come to mind to describe the past few weeks in our stepfamily. We found out recently that my 14 year-old stepdaughter is cutting herself. It's been very hard for her and for all of us. I'm writing this column because we hope it will help other families dealing with this problem seek help and treatment.
 
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