No matter if the goal here is to win back an ex, stay friends with an ex or show you've moved on with your life or even all three, staying calm is the key. it may be difficult,but no one likes a desperate hostile person.
- Learn to stay calm. You may see your ex a lot, sometimes, or rarely, but whenever you do see him you must use that time to your advantage! To keep calm you must keep and show a positive attitude! even if they're with their new love, friends and family or alone, it doesn't matter. If they still have feelings for you, and see how happy you are, they may want to either be around you more, or have you on their mind a bit more than usual and that's what you want!
- FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT!! It will be hard, for whatever reason he may seem not to notice, care or even happier without you. This may be a front BUT don't get your hopes up. The last thing you need is is get wrapped up in the false emotions you think may trigger between you and the ex. The whole point is getting calm, so you can think clearly in order to make the next step of whats best for you.
- Find something that reminds you how special you are. Keep yourself busy, accomplish new things, no matter how big or small! this is important you do this because it shows with or without that person life does go on and your holding things down, and there's nothing more attractive then that! whether its from your ex or someone new, take care of you to represent yourself worth.
- Develop a more positive attitude. When you're busy doing these tasks in your life, you should get a more positive attitude, and even if your not getting everything that you may want, you should appreciate everything else you do have. This will bring out a more better aspect of how you control your actions, and even if you may interact with an ex in a situation, the new improved you will shine and keep you calm.
- Deal with the negative emotions. Another important to getting calm within yourself, you must let all the negative emotions run, when you're alone and/or with a trusting friend, you must let it out. Write it all done and be completely honest with yourself. If that's not you, workout, listen to music that matches your emotions but also motivates your mind that this isn't the end(even if you feel it is!) Don't turn to drugs or alcohol! It only relieves that pain temporary, and you need something POSITIVE that actually improves how you deal with your feelings in the long run! just try it, what can you lose!
- CRY CRY CRY! Don't do it in front of your ex though if you're trying to manipulate him or so on. It will only make things worse, and push them away trust me.
- Please do your best to accept the situation. If it's meant to be, it will be! You can't force anything, it should all be genuine anyway! If there is a chance your ex still wants you or you guys are still friends, this part may get tricky! Watch how he treats you, talks to you and their physical actions. If they call to check up on you, that's great! but don't seem like your too excited, don't bring up the past or problems unless its positive, if they do bring something up, that's also good, just follow into their lead but keep your emotions in check and listen!(especially if that was a problem in the past) don't go begging for them, or feeling sorry for yourself and out of control! THIS WILL PUSH THEM AWAY, AND HAVE THEM REGRET THEY EVEN CAME!! REMEMBER REMAIN CALM! be subtle, friendly and remind them no matter what you'll have their back. but only say it if you mean, that may cause a downfall. keep honest
- Another way to remain calm is to remain patient! If they're having thoughts of rebuilding a relationship with you and/or still have strong feelings for you it will show! And not talking about physically!( that does become misleading, and many do want to be able to keep their cake and eat too! don't fall into another victim ) keep your mind focused. you may still be very vulnerable at this point
- Let them come to you, at this point they may be confused and cautious about their decision they will eventually make. Remember no matter what your life doesn't stop for them, keep your priorities at foot and continue being positive as much as you can.If it gets to a point where he/she seems more open to you now, and talks to you about the relationship and/or each other, you must remain cautious, if your still into him/her, go ahead and share this with them but if it seems time is passing by and there just dragging you along and cant make up there mind, and/or seems to play a roller coaster game! accept this as the end for you two, or at least just mentally let them go. You have your life you need to care about, keep calm with yourself, your time shouldn't be wasted and what respect do they really have if they cant understand that.
- Remember everyone is different and the cases are too! but keeping calm is what makes this process of the break up a lot more better, whether you guys were meant to be...become friends or strangers.
- he or she may get really close with other girls/boys, don't feed in, it may be hard(especially if you them or hear about them a lot) but remain positive and fill your head with other thoughts, they have the right to do what they want, and you do too! have respect for him and yourself, you'll be glad you did
- if you are into a religion or something similar, pray to help keep your wild emotions in check and keep the pain to a minimum
- remind your ex with the little things of why your such a great catch, without trying to hard, if he doesn't see it, that's something else you must consider if your trying to decide if you would want him back or not
- remind yourself of how great you are, and if that person doesn't see it or anyone in this case, then their not worth your time.
- keep to yourself and stay away from rumors. they may occur but show your better than that, it does turn out swell in the long run
- Don't get your hopes up to high, remember there's a chance you guys will not get back with each other, this is why you must eventually accept this and learn from this! that is the key to remaining calm
- don't bad mouth your ex for whatever reason, remember karma!
- being vulnerable to desperate actions and so on will only have them feeding off of you for their advantage if their that kind of person.
- Life does go on, concentrate on goals for yourself
- Be careful if things get physical, if this person isn't back with you or giving their full attention on working on rebuilding the relationship, there's a strong chance you will get hurt all over again if your expectation isn't honestly just to get a quick please
- don't deprive yourself from the dating world but don't get your mind stuck on it either, if your here reading this, that's a strong indication your not ready to fall into another relationship anytime soon until you truly get yourself together
- don't lose hope. remember be patient! but also be wise to know when it is time to leave that person behind and get on with your life.
- GOOD LUCK!
Things You'll Need
- love for yourself!
- a time to gather your thoughts
- trust for yourself that you will get through whatever fate leaves for you
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Ex-Wives and Ex-Lives: Survival Guide for the Next Wife
Told from a next-wife's point of view, this book offers a candid, sometimes tongue-in-cheek, expose of the realities of remarriage. Using these lessons, women contemplating marriage to divorced men can arm themselves for what lays ahead.
Everything is comprehensively covered: learning to survive the murky waters of stepmothering, mastering the treacherous terrain of reluctant in-laws, avoiding tripping in the footsteps of the woman who came first, and exorcising the ghosts of their new husband's ex-life once and for all.
Ex-Wives and Ex-Lives: Survival Guide for the Next Wife